Dog's Dinner
by Kit Darling
(Birmingham)
Happy Birthday my dove
Here's a gift filled with love
Is it money?
Don't be funny
That, you've got plenty of
I don't think that you'll guess
What I've bought you, don't stress
It's not socks, ties or cuff-links
but I won't yet confess...
Happy Birthday my dear
Here's to you, one more year
that you've vanquished your enemies
and filled friends with good cheer
Do you know what I've got you?
Is it driving you mad?
Don't you fear, it's not tasteless,
or tacky or bad...
Happy Birthday my sweet
From my head to my feet
I love you more than candy
Here's your Birthday cake, eat!
No that's not your main present
Do you think I'm so tight?
Here's the box that it was in
There's a problem, you're right...
Happy Birthday my pet
Though the day's not done yet
since the dog ate your present
Off we go to the vet.